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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Teeth, Fingers, and The Post Office

While we're on the subject of what is dirty, manners, and teeth...let me tell you a little story about the trip I took to The Post Office yesterday. I work in Santa Monica and this area of Santa Monica is already a seething mixture of tourists, hot people, hippies, and mentally disabled dirty vagrants.

The Post Office resonated this.

I got in line and struck up a lovely conversation with two girls visiting from England. They told me the word "Awesome" is very American and they would say "Lush" or "Mint". I have now decided I will do my best to use those words more. Sadly, it'll probably be involved with discussions of alcohol and mouth wash. But still...

So I am standing there and this line is taking forever. This is when my attention was drawn to the woman standing on the other side of this island they separate the line with. In this island are various post office ecoutrement. Well this woman looked to be in her late 40s or early 50s. She had the air of a gypsy...maybe psychic....or could just be a pagan. I don't know. I've been around enough to know. She probably had an extensive collection of Stevie Nicks memorabilia somewhere at home.

She was having quite a hard time with the post office tape dispenser. Kept pulling the tape but couldn't cut the tape on the metal teeth the dispenser has. So, and I shit you not, she proceeded to bend down and grab the tape in her mouth and attempted to rip the tape with her teeth. It didn't quite work out to her advantage though and she ended up looking like a snaggle tooth gypsy dog woman. I had to turn around as to not laugh right in her face.

But seriously, the Post Office...especially in this not somewhere you want to put your mouth on, let alone teeth. I'm sure you'd get less germs fucking an ash tray used by Gene Simmons.

But what do I know? I don't smoke and can't stand Kiss.

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