The Subjective Lightness Of Being: I Relate Everything To Movies

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I Relate Everything To Movies

I have two examples for you.

First, yesterday I went on The Stairmaster for the first time at the gym. What a funny contraption that is. I get on this piece of equipment and I start forever walking up a staircase that is going nowhere, proceeding to pour a copious amount of sweat in a small amount of time.

While I am climbing, if you can call it that, I start thinking of that scene in Ghostbusters where our trusty heroes are climbing all those stairs to get to the roof to fight Zool.

Heh, are you the Gatekeeper? I'm the Stairmaster.

Second example, and this happens every time I take a shower...I think of a scene in the movie Toy Soldiers. You know the movie? An all boys school is taken over by terrorists. Sean Astin, aka Sam Wise Ganji plays the hero. There's a scene where he escapes and gets out to the camp where the police and FBI are waiting for word to negotiate. He tells them information on what is going on inside. During this time, the terrorists gather all the students together for a roll call and keep coming up short. SamWise runs back, runs late, trips and falls into a puddle and gets soaked. So being crafty, he gets naked and runs through the shower end of the school, grabs a towel and wraps himself in it, and runs back in time to save one of the kids from being killed. Basically, his story is that he didn't hear the alarm or know the time due to his shower. He ends up being punished and whipped.

What does this have to do with me taking a shower? For some reason, every time I'm in the shower, I imagine myself being in his position and try to get believably wet as fast as possible so see if it would work to pull a fast one on a bunch of terrorists at my all boy prep school that I attend.

By the way, gotta give it up to Martika!