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Thursday, June 29, 2006


I feel like I am residing in a monochromatic world that I tend to create for myself. All greys. Color is actually lacking. At least today it is. Sleep induced day. Tylenol PM looked to be a bad idea in the long run. Old habits. I tend to enjoy sleep more than waking consciousness and productivity. Or at least, maybe just for today this applies. My words are coming out weird. Gramatical errors? Or am I speaking in a Yoda tense? I don't know. I'm sad but I'm not. I feel stagnant. I feel like days old bath water. Acting career seems on a stand still. This script I am writing is stopped at a block I can't seem to hurdle around. This loneliness that comes and goes is like a welcome unwelcome blanket that is itchy yet comforting. Reminds me of a blanket I had when I was a kid. I'm so used to this feeling that I don't know how to be without it somehow peeking it's head into my life at random times. But it sucks. And there we go again with the sucking comment. I miss sex and sucking. But whatever. It's been too long that it all somewhat seems like a dream or thoughts and nothing more. Fantastical images in my mind that remind me more of a porno movie I once saw way back when as opposed to experiences I've actually added to the imaginary notches on my bedpost. But I don't have a bedpost. And here I am looking at the time and it is 6:35. I need to get ready for work. I need to snap out of this funk. I need to not be distracted by pussy or the lack there-of. I need to have some coffee and be happy I am alive and have this job as well as the friends I have. I need to eat. I need to crap. I need to smile on occasion. I need to write. I need to write. I need to write. I need to w r i t e

Wednesday, June 28, 2006


There's spiders in the shower
and I can't think without blinking
I have an inkling of something
Much bigger than this

And the spider is dancing
While the water is splashing
And the drain seems to be growing
Like a grape eating elephant's gaping ass

It's a moldy midsummers morning
The spiders are forming
Something almost resembling a chain

And the water that's pouring
Almost sounds like it's snoring
And it's coming out shooting like rain

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Day After

Tired isn't even close to how I feel. It's more like a limbo between conscious and comatose. Drank large amounts of hops baring drinks last night. It was fun. Good party. But now I am at work and all I can think about doing is staring at the wall. It really is soothing, the wall staring that I tend to do. My brain seems to be rebooting itself.

Hammering hungover headache attacked me at about 7am when I woke up to have a orgasmic piss. I had to quickly down advils and drank a whole bottle of water and passed out again.

I met a really cool writer/director last night who is well known in the business. I was so fucking drunk that I think I might have made an ass of myself. He kept saying it was ok and I should be drinking and partying for my birthday. But shit....I was all blubbering about like a little fanboy.

Work. There's work in my inbox. I am sitting here typing a frickin blog instead of working. I just drank coffee and I feel like if I have another liter, I may be able to keep my focus on the task at hand. And speaking of that, I just had to rebrew coffee. All of the carafes were empty but one that was full of nasty Vanilla Nut. Fucking weak ass flavored coffee.

I have some ham and cheese sandwiches with someone's name on them. And all I want to do is spank it and sleep, spank it and sleep. Not really, but it sounded funny.

Too tired....if I last the night I'll be surprised.

Monday, June 12, 2006

It's all Fire

Everything is fire right now
Explosion and flames
Destruction, dismemberment
Bringing the buildings down to ash

The red becomes grey
The grey soon clears
Out from the ash, comes something anew
But what it is has yet to be seen