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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Earthquakes and Kamikaze Pigeons
We had an earthquake today in Los Angeles. It was one of them medium ones, as if it were a breed of salsa that the fault lines produced. Not that I'd eat that or dip my chip into it, but just go with me on that metaphor.
Thank you.
It's one of those things, being an L.A. native, that I can pretty much gauge the size of tremor by just experiencing it. It's never a pleasant thing, as I like my ground to remain grounded. But at the same time, it's not like this is a new experience. It can be a scary one. Yet, I was more nervous than scared since I needed to drop the kids off at the pool (poop for you not so savvy folks) and I didn't want to get stuck in the bathroom during a possible aftershock.
Then there are those people who feel the need to post bulletins about the earthquake on MySpace, call you to inform you there was an earthquake, or start in on a recollection of where they were during the Northridge quake. In case you were wondering, I was in bed, wrestling with my blankets which had taken hold of my leg and in turn threw me to the floor, as I awoke from dreaming that the Russians had attacked and WW3 had begun.
It gets a bit annoying.
Not scary, at least not the one that happened today.
Last week, a pigeon with a death wish was kicked by some wanna be Yakuza member as I was meandering along the 3rd Street Promenade on my lunch break. Said pigeon proceeded to fly directly into my face. It happened in Hitchcock-ian speed that I didn't quite register what had happened until I saw the douchebag proceed to kick the thing again as it so stupidly landed on the ground and walked beside him.
This isn't the first time I have come in close contact with death wish pigeons in this area. I don't know what they've been putting in their beaks to make them act this way. Maybe it's all the McDonald's french fries I see tourists feeding them. Could french fries be the tool that turns these rats with wings into demon birds?
If so, Burt will be so sad panda depressed that no sort of Ernie loving will stop the tears from waterfalling.
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