Friday, April 04, 2008
The Green Tea Concept or How I Broke Up WIth Diet Rockstar Energy Drinks
Well holy shit! Jumpin Jesus on a waterbed!
I swear, I had no idea. None. Zero. Sure I've heard the Sobe Tea commercials and have read about the health benefits in drinking green tea, but I still had no idea it was going to be like an energy bolt to the heart!
Yesterday I had a Diet Rockstar on the way to work, a cup of coffee when I got to work, some candy, some sugar ridden substances, and I was still dead tired. I see a coworker of mine drinking this green tea so I asked him what it was. He told me it was the Jasmine Green Tea packet that comes with the Flavia coffee thing we have in the kitchen.
It looks kinda like this:
I never used it to make tea. So I figured why not. I tried the tiny packet of jasmine green tea and it poured into a cup not bigger than 8 ounces. I flavored it with honey and a splenda packet. On hot diggety duncan donuts in a martian dragon's fist, was this damn good! I mean really good. And within 15 minutes, I was flying high on an energy cloud that lasted a good five hours.
I went to the gym and bolted through 200 calories in 17 minutes on the cross ramp and I still had enough energy to finish my workout, go home and make dinner, get some writing done, etc.
So I am now on a mission. I feel that if I keep drinking this stuff, which is healthier for you, I will soon become Jet Li.
That's right. Jet Li. Go ahead and doubt me. As Jet Li, I will kick and punch those doubts into the rice patty field and make it grow into a nice full tea tree....that I will then juice by merely staring at it's limbs. I will then drink that juice and eventually become a hybrid super kung fu genius made up of one part Jet Li, one part Bruce Lee, and one part Keith Carradine.
Sorry Diet Rockstar, I'm done with you. Coffee....you still are my morning treat. Don't cry. Who else gets the train out the station like you?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
The Energy Drink Concept or How I'm Breaking Up With Coffee
I'm a big coffee fan.
I love the stuff. I find I can't get through my day without at least one cup of that glorious fluid flowing through my veins.
But lately, lately coffee has been on notice for me. Sorry, Mr. Colbert, I'm stealing that phrase.
Coffee, you're On Notice!
Why do I say this?
Well look. I have extensive experience working in coffee retail. I am pretty well versed on the different types of coffee that exist in the world and what goes good with what. I understand the differences in blends, etc. I used to work for Starbucks, The Coffee Bean, and a few other coffee retail establishments.
And just to go off on a tiny tangent, Starbucks is more-so who's on permanent notice with me. I've had quite the disdain for the corporate coffee place since I worked for them. I learned that they double roast (burn) their coffee to make the taste stronger in hopes they will bring in more people to make money. Lo' and behold, the concept worked on the masses. I was apparently in the minority. They have a mild blend that I prefer. It's less burnt tasting and a little known fact, apparently, is the less you roast a coffee bean, the more caffeine content that bean has!
Recently, I've learned that all Starbucks across the country closed for three hours in one day to retrain their employees. I think the bigger concept here is that they started realizing people were heading to McDonalds, 7/11, Ralphs, etc to get their morning coffee since the price was more reasonable and the quality of the beverage was much higher. Yet people still flock to Starbucks for the name and the trend.
Ok, back to what I was saying. Coffee is on notice.
Why? Why am I putting it on notice?
Well dammit, energy drinks used to be on notice. My own personal "On Notice" board exists in my mind. Just go with me here. 
I have recently become turned on to this Diet Rockstar drink. Sure, it's not healthy for you. Sure, one may reap slightly better health benefits from coffee since it is in fact derived from the Earth. But hell, lately coffee has been tasting like shit. Every coffee I've had recently has been tasting like dirt. I don't know why. Maybe my taste buds are revolting against me.
But Diet Rockstar, how I now have a budding secret lustful relationship with thee. This damn drink. Tastes like sugar cocaine laced jolly rancher goodness. It has the word "Diet" right in the name so it can't be all bad, right? Not to mention, one can of this lovely liquid evilness picks me right up.
So coffee, it's not you, it's me. I just need some time away.
I'll call you.
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